At his funeral, the great German poet
Holderlin sums up his
achievements with undisguised reverence:
"He freed mankind from the hot lunch. We owe him so much."
Woody Allen, “History of sandwich”
The British are people of contrasts. With obvious pleasure they can play the slowest and most boring game in the world - cricket. Or instead of working drink tea with friends during two hours in the afternoon. Or quite legally drive on the opposite side of the road.
One would think who can possibly be more fuckabulous and less practical than an Englishman? In any case, it was an Englishman who invented a sandwich.
The application SandwichMe is just as simple and brilliant as a sandwich is. Even before to make one never were required any special skills and right now you can entrust this job even to your junior cat, so to speak. The app works similarly to the principle of “Photo Robot” software.
Move your finger to replace any ingredient.
Slide a finger from the top to the bottom to make a sandwich. Now you can save the combination, make a shopping list of required ingredients or send an invitation to some of friends to share a meal together.
If pseudo-culinary experiments are not your cup of tea, there are a lot of pre-ready templates with different combinations.
But all of this is bullshit. Here the thing that’s really cool: you can push the button and check the approximate nutritional value of a virtual sandwich.
In most cases after the “construction” of a sandwich, you will see the red circles denoting the high fat and calories levels.
Or like this:
Or maybe even like this:
They are blowing up my brains!
And there is the circle standing for the most useful food element you need to receive – Protein – it is green. As you can see, it means it is practically absent. There is no protein, there is only a circle.
It is like to read instead of the meals’ content in a restaurant’s menu a sort of such stuff:
Shit – 100 g
Poison – 100 g
Food – 1 g
Or it’s like receiving a low-level electrical discharge each time you try to smoke.
If you don't have mayo instead of brains, the observation of these red circles has to ring a bell in your head – Do I really need to eat this?
SandwichMe is the best anti-sandwich advertisement.
Roasted chicken baked with vegetables
Mentally you can draw green circles for Calories and Fat and one red circle for Protein. BTW, it tastes fucking awesome.
Have no time to cook? Forget about time. Live like an Englishman.